A quick question for Christians…

So as a person of any monotheistic faith you believe that there is a supreme omnipotent being whom as an individual created all of heaven, earth space and time in the universe specifically so the beings of our species to be able to get good cell phone service, unlimited refills and the rest of the inhabitants are here for our sustenance and amusement (kinda makes us like Gods of Earth, but there can be only one Highlander).

Lets just question this for today. We will keep it to just Christianity although I am sure you could plug any religion into this and it would closely apply. You believe that God is infallible. That his wisdom is ever reaching and that every thing happens for a reason that only he can fathom, because no one is as smart as the Almighty.

So God’s intentions are perfect but surely you disagree with some individual people’s interpretations. Pat Robertson might say something you don’t entirely agree with but he’s not speaking as God just a conduit of his message. He can make mistakes, maybe gay marriage won’t lead to sex with ducks.

You might even go as far to believe certain Christian groups or sects have taken their interpretations way off the beaten path. Like the Westborough Baptist Church believing that “God Hates Fags” so much that they should fell divinely justified to protest during the funerals of American soldiers who fought for their country interests.

Surely then to sat it politely you would agree that some of their interpretations had gotten “lost in translation”, I would say they are stone fuck nut crazy to the point that any further discussion of their rancid accolades would only further promote awareness to their insidious form of “faith”.

So now believers and non alike can agree that things get lost in the shuffle, that certain things can be misread, misunderstood at times maybe? I mean to think otherwise would be to think of yourself as God right?

Now go to your bedside drawer and grab your Bible. Open it up. Better yet close it. Read the title. The New Testament. Means there had to be at least one rewrite. One group no matter how absorbed by faith, how well read how intellectual could have maybe had a spelling error? They weren’t perfect, they weren’t God.

Now remember that when God said all these things there was at least one hundred years before those divine words were ever scribbled to papyrus in Hebrew. Then they had to be translated from Hebrew, to Aramaic, to Latin, to English, to English, to English, to English. All those men (yes probably all men) all those hands, all those minds they could not have maybe gotten a word wrong? Maybe misinterpreted a sentence when translating between languages?

I mean how annoying is it when some American who happens to be twelve percent Italian tells you it’s pronounced “calamad”. Really asshole? then you should go back in time and stab the guy to death because he decided to put a “ri” at the end and now it’s Calamari.

What if they only messed up one word? One in thousands? They were 99.9%. Sure as you look at your kids they were right. BUt that one word. Maybe Jesus didn’t “turn” water into wine, maybe Jesus just “put” water into wine.

Now Jesus is the first guy to water down drinks. And he is still the savior of that party…

…just saying maybe.

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